What a difference Furman makes!!!

I held back tears today as I made notes about my life (Chronology of Events) in preparation for my testimony at an upcoming Ladies Prayer Breakfast that I am a part of. It's one thing when you have a bunch of memories in your head, but when you put them on paper in some sort of sequential order....it just makes things look a lot different and much more crazy. At the same time, it shows just how much Glory I need to give to God for bringing me through so much and to this point. I'm still standing!!!! I go through my list of "stuff" since I was 5 yrs old and i'm asking myself like Holy Crap...does it end? Then you know what.....I get to 2009, and it does.  It's almost as if Life started when Furman came back into my life.  I don't know how I'm going to give a testimony to these women without breaking down like a big baby. I don't know how. But, I think it's good to share how I've struggled and fought and Won. Some people may wonder how I could share what many may hold to be such private details of my life. The way I look at it is that we are not on this earth for our own purpose but we are here for God's. So, that being said, why should life be a complete secret? How is someone supposedly supposed to learn from my own experiences if I don't share them? How can God get all the Glory when I don't share what he's brought me out of.
  
As much sadness as walking down memory lane brings, I have to look at where I am today.  I know that all that I have been through has made me the person that I am, a person that I am happy to be. A person that Furman loves and has loved for many years.  After all, when I first met Furman I was very much a broken spirit which is probably a big reason why I fell for him big time. When I needed it, he made me laugh (still does), he made me feel special (still does), he loved me (still does) - He made me forget the bad stuff when I was with him (and he still does) and I thought he was the hottest thing since sliced bread...lol (still do). But it's probably part of the reason why we had to be apart, we both weren't ready. Apart for many years, for some reason, he still held onto memories of Me. Items I had given him, photos, etc. He knew, we'd be "Forever something", somehow. So now, while I was still going through so much more life "stuff" after Furman and I had separated many years ago, God was doing what he does....working things out in his way. Not only did God bring us back together, but he gave us an incredible love story to appreciate and share with others. He's taught us to appreciate each other so much more than we did when we first met and he's shown us "Real Love", a love that is the perfect example for my children to make sure they don't settle for anything less.  They can look at our love, and look at God's love for us despite our flaws.  God knew I was ready for Furman because I had started seeking him for his direction.  Now, I've got the husband of my dreams who shows me that I am loved and special and you know what I realize, that God has been showing me that all along, I just wasn't paying attention like I was supposed to. When I look back now, I don't ask "Why Me?", because now I know.  Out of the Miry Clay, God has been polishing me and now I am Shining!!  Chayil.

Now don't get me wrong...I know that nothing will be perfect and Furman and I will have our challenges (We'll get through them together and with God's help) But I have a better understanding and appreciation of where I have already come from, where I am going and who to go to! Better yet, I am thankful that God has chosen the perfect mate to see out the rest of my days with me. My Soulmate - Furman. Imagine what we can do together!!!!  God is in our relationship and will hold us together just like he brought us together - for His purpose. I will continue to Praise him and give him the Glory.  I know God had his hand in it and will continue to work on other relationships in my life that need working on too.  When Furman and I got back together I spent many nights on my knees praying for God to take him away if he wasn't who God wanted for me because I knew what I wanted, and wasn't sure what God wanted. (Although it seemed like fate to me..lol) As a result, God made sure I knew what he wanted and I know he's happy that I consulted him first this time....LOL  On that note....I'm excited for my husband to get here!!  It's been 4 months since we got married and I can't wait to not have to spend another day without him.

Thank you God for answering prayers - What a difference Furman makes!!!