Oct 6, 2011 - "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matt 19:6

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sisters for Life - The Chosen Ones

Friends Sisters for Life!
The Chosen Ones.

 That's Us.
30 years - going strong.

I dedicate this blog post to two girls I absolutely Love!  Two girls I met when I was 11 and that are still a part of my life today. They are my friends sisters, part of my family.  They came into my life at a time when I was desperately in need. I was an only child and life outside of school had been crazy. I started grade 7 living with an aunt in a different part of city from what I had been used to. At my new school, these girls became my Only friends.  Now, I'm not sure if it was before or after I became the outkast (lol) but they were my friends anyways.  What I mean about my becoming the outkast was.....after growing up in an area of town predominantly white (Portuguese), I moved to an area that was predominantly black (Jamaican). Thinking I would fit in because I was black too....I learned too quickly that I wasn't black at all (I already knew this, I just mean I was reminded)... I was Mixed. Yup...black mother, white father. I don't remember it being an issue when I was younger. But, around black people.... I got to experience racism because I was too light. Go figure!! When I started the new school, a girl named Michelle was appointed to show me around and she was great for the first week. Oh, but when the boys started to take notice and show interest in the new girl.....Man oh man...I was hated!! It felt like I was hated by the whole school but I know it was really just the girls. Yeah Yeah...I know, it was all jealousy because I was pretty.  Nevertheless, they made my Junior High School years pure Hell and helped shape the person I am today. For this and other reasons, I threw myself into my books. Honor Roll, Valedictorian....that was me.  These two girls.....they were there for me the whole time. Like I said....my Only friends.  The three of us became like the three musketeers through Junior High and into High School. Then, I lost my way......lost them. I can't even really tell you what happened, where we all went or even when. I just wasn't a musketeer anymore. I didn't even know if they were still musketeers either.  We lost track for many many years.

Over the years, I've had several friendships with people that have lasted more than a decade. Relationships that are today, no more. The season is over, the reason has been fulfulled.  I miss these people dearly.  I guess I can say that we have lost track like I lost track with these girls many years ago. Maybe we'll get back on track again. Maybe not.  But with death, there is new life....in this case, the death of those relationships breathed life into new relationships, and old relationships that needed a fresh start.  A page in my life was turned.
I got my Husband....and My girls are back!!

We are raised to believe that Family are those who share the same blood when in fact Family goes far deeper than that.  Lord knows that I have an extremely large extended family that I love dearly whether I see or speak to them often or not.  They are my blood.  Yet, often enough those who share the same blood are Not family at all. They are no different from strangers that just think they know you and your business because you are related.  They don't know you at all!!  They have no clue!! (They are like fans who act like they have the inside to the life of certain celebrities..lol  Trying to creep your Facebook page, keeping update on your blog while talking about what they think they know about you behind your back) You may see them every so often at family functions, run into them at church or on the street.  You may even allow them to stay with you for periods of time to help them when in need....but they don't KNOW you.  These things don't make them know you either.  Sharing blood often gives people a sense of entitlement that doesn't exist. It's like they have permission to abuse you and take advantage of you when they really don't.  Just look at kids sometimes.  Sharing blood doesn't make people love each other and act like family either. Sometimes they are just people that we tolerate and then there are those exceptions that we don't tolerate at all. lol But, if we are lucky, we are able to substitute those missing family members with others that compliment our ideal of who that relative should be. Ie. Father figures replacing the absent fathers, close friends that are more like sisters/brothers and elders that have been more like aunts and uncles in our lives. In many instances, these kinds of people add to what we already have instead of being surrogates of those lost to dysfunction and death.  And let's give special mention to awesome friends.  (I got a few of those. You know who you are!  Thanks for being you. Look forward to many more years of friendship/sisterhood).

In the above photo...these girls are awesome friends, and I can call them not just friends but my sisters because they have been sisters to me for the time we've been together.  I grew up an only child and my cousins were my sisters. When I ended up having biological sisters they weren't sisters either. They were raised apart from me and there was too much of an age difference I guess. In return, I was given the people that are in my life today....They love me and don't judge me, because they've taken the time to know me.  They are there when and if I need them. We may not see or speak to each other all the time but I know just how to reach them and we are happy to hear from each other. When we do speak, it's like we haven't missed a beat. Almost like a soap opera where you can miss several episodes and for the most part, just jump right in and understand what's going on.

I am thankful for the people that God has brought into my life, especially these girls.  They are a different kind of special - They are the chosen ones.  So, while I may not be able to pick my family family, I can pick my friends and allow them to be my family.  Actually....why am I taking the credit? God picked them, for a Reason, Season, Lifetime. Friends.....heck, after 30 years.....Family!!   Family that I have picked with Gods help. And, after just over 20 yrs, let me tell you that it was a wonderful feeling this weekend to be remembered and recognized by my friends sisters' family members.  It was just like it used to be and it was so nice to have my husband with me to hang with the girls that helped me get through some of the toughest years of my youth.

Yup.....I am Blessed.
We are Blessed.
We are Family.


  1. "Sharing blood often gives people a sense of entitlement that doesn't exist. " - i agree!!! I did that recently n resented it.

    I read every word of ur post =) Very meaningful! I'm 26 and have close friends i've known for 10 years. Pretty much fell out with the one i've know all my life. It just scares me when u said u've got friends that u were close to for 10 years and dont really talk to now. One day that will be me too!

    By the way u dont look ur age!!!! =)

  2. Thanks for the compliment Sue Lin.
    Yeah..since I found happiness i lost one friend that had been around for about 25 yrs. Then again, she really wasn't a friend anyways. Then when I got married it seems like about 3 others I was close with just haven't seemed to be there anymore. So, when it came down to my wedding....there were no long time friends to share in my excitement. I love them dearly and while it hurts that I can't figure out where my friends have gone, I must move on. I have my husband and he wont be going anywhere. Bottom line...cherish the days you have with the ones you love because they wont be around forever one way or another.


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