Changes - That's Just The Way It Is

Have you ever seen this movie?

STEP-FATHER

                                       Gee....my kids are so lucky they don't have one of those. lol

Nevertheless, adjustment to having another body in the house is proving to be a bit of a challenge. Who said it would be easy? Oh..Nobody. lol I'm not sure what I expected. Who am I to think that everything would be easy peasy? lol  Even though my husband is an awesome man. The most awesomest (haha) man that I have ever been with. God saved the best for last. However, being awesome doesn't mean anything when the easy going shine from visits wears off and the harsh reality sets in that things will never be as they used to be. This is no longer a visit where everyone is on their best behavior.  While I would say that I have some awesome kids too (most of the time), I will admit that they have some terrible habits. I completely take the blame for that. And boy are some habits hard to break.  lol  So, the realization that this adjustment is proving more challenging than I thought it would be, has sent me right to Google.  At times I'm feeling a bit frustrated, in the middle and mad at myself for expecting anything different in terms of us all getting used to CHANGE. lol After all, I have a teenage girl and a young adult son.  I know it's so much easier when the kids are smaller instead of when they are older and set in their ways.  And I know...Patience is a Virtue!

Now don't get me wrong...we aren't going through big issues with screaming matches and major attitudes or anything like that. lol  We are a family that communicates and not like that in the least. So, I know its a bit tough because I was told...and I can see it. I take pride in the fact that I can communicate with my children. In fact, it became a bit of a joke when I was taking care of someone else's unruly child for several months a few years ago. She got used to my Lectures real quick. hahahaha  No yelling or hitting or anything like that. We talk...about how I feel, how you feel, why, what needs to be done to change, commitments to make changes. lol Geez, a friend of mine always told me that I needed to change my parenting style and be more of a foot in the ass kind of parent. lol Sometimes....I think he is right. I can see that now. Maybe then, there  wouldn't be some of the habits that I am trying to break my kids of now. lol  Thanks to my husband, I've changed many of my own habits. I love him so much for how he has enhanced our lives. The kids might not see it yet...lol But I do!

I can write about it because really and truly, what we are going through is no different from what many others have had to deal with and what others in a similar situation will have to deal with in the future.  It's normal.  Boy oh Boy is it ever!!  My kids are used to a single mom. My husband is used to not having kids, being in his own country, being a single man, etc. lol  So yeah...it's going to take some getting used to, for everyone. The kids need to realize that they are not losing a mom, but they are gaining a dad - just like my mom gained a son and didn't lose a daughter.  But you know what....I've got God on my side too....so this is nothing that some continuous prayer and hard work can't take care of. And PATIENCE! Not to mention the abundance of love for all parties involved.  And, it helps that I got my degree studying Psychology and Sociology....lol

An awesome article I came across is Why Step Relationships Aren't Easy.  I get it!

Contrary to my daughter's belief though, I understand going through a change like this. I've gone through something similar yet different when I was younger. Having bounced around from home to home, I've had to get used to a different set of rules and different family dynamics on a few occasions. I got through it though.    Maybe we all need to sit down and watch this movie Step Father together...lol  Hmmm.....I might put that on my todo list for family entertainment. lol That, along with watching several episodes of The Worlds Strictest Parents.  Oh yeah....I'd love my daughter to see that I'm not as strict as she might think. hahahaha  Love this show! At the same time, I praise God that my daughter isn't like the kids on these shows. lol Yup...I've done a pretty decent job with my kids if I must say so myself. But, I can kick myself for not being perhaps a bit more strict in certain areas.

Changes - That's just the way it is. Things'll never be the same.  And I'm so happy for that because things are soo much better. It may be a bit tough, but it is worth it.  God is good.

We've taken that "next exit" towards some positive changes and there is no turning back. 

The future is so much brighter on this road.

Well....I gotta get back to my happy family. I love them sooo much.  Just got back from my Ladies Prayer Breakfast and now we are off as a family to go feed the homeless at a shelter in downtown Toronto with my church.  Something I always love to do. An awesome reminder of how fortunate we all are and a reminder to those less fortunate that people care. We care.  Did I mention that I have an awesome family? I am the luckiest person in the world.  Changes not needed there!

I love you Furman. I love my children.  Thank you all so much for being such a blessing in my life. Thank you to my husband for becoming a part of  my family. Thanks to everyone for having patience during this time of transition.  (Gee..I almost sound like I am giving an acceptance speech..haha) In that case....I'll thank God first!!