When You WANT To Work

                                      

Yeah.....so THIS is how Furman is feeling!  I'm sure of it.  But no...he's not in this crowd with any signs. lol He is hanging around at home trying to entertain himself because he is still NOT ALLOWED TO WORK IN CANADA, yet.
He has cleaned all that may have needed cleaning. He has fixed stuff that needed fixing. He has weeded the dandelions from our walkway and has been practicing his cooking skills. Oh yeah! I will miss all this when he is working. He has watched more shows and movies than I am sure he has cared to (Netflix has come in handy although we have a complete Satellite package). With all this, he is still making time to run and stay in shape. In fact, since being in Canada he has actually lost weight and is looking very good I might add. Not that he didn't look good before..but you know what I mean. lol I can say with confidence that he is dying to get back to work. This, I know. He is certainly not the type to want to sit on his ass. I've been with one of those before. Nope...not my Furman. Hopefully, once he has been given permission to work here...yeah hopefully, he will be able to get back into what he had been doing before coming here - working for Sandals. He was good at what he did. Has the personality for it as I am sure his co-workers and many customers could attest to. I see the messages on Facebook all the time of how much everyone misses him. Come on Immigration...Hurry up already!!

Furman is anxious to get back into the workforce and add his two cents with my two cents. I'm feeling Rich already I tell ya. I've never really had another contributor to my household - ever!. I'm already feeling pretty middle class because I haven't been living cheque to cheque in quite some time now and it feels awesome. But I can only imagine what Furman is going through at home while I have to come into the office. I'm a worker bee myself. If i'm on vacation and just hanging around the house, I go nuts into the second day because i'm not doing anything. lol I don't know how to really rest sometimes. I can't understand for the life of me how some people that are able to work...I mean physically and mentally have nothing wrong with them....choose not to work a 9-5. What on earth do you do all day, every day? I don't get it. Now I'm not referring to women at home with the kids while dad is working. I'm referring to those that should be working and playing their role in society, paying taxes. No comment about those sitting at home on welfare when they shouldn't be. That's a testy subject that I'm not going to touch. But, just so you know, I was on welfare once. Sure as hell I was and not ashamed of it. It helped me get through University as a young single mom, but I had a part time job too. The day I graduated, was the day I sent a wonderfully worded letter to the welfare office and said Thank You but No Thank You Anymore!  I sure did. That letter was a piece of art - wish I kept it. lol Welfare served a purpose when I was young and trying to do what I needed to do. But, I had no intention of spending my life living off of it like too many choose to do. I wont say anymore because I don't want anyone to feel that I am attacking those on welfare. To each his own. I am not trying to judge anyone because that's not for me to do. Please forgive me if you took offense to anything I said.

Had to share this jam I love since I'm not singing it anymore!!  lol

I just want to understand, how can one not want to make their own money to do their own thing? It says a lot about a person's character when people choose to mooch off of other people or to be doing something illegal to get by. Seriously! I was in a relationship with someone once who wasn't working for a long period of time. They were working when we started dating and when they lost their job I didn't bail on them. Then, when they started working (hustling really), they still weren't contributing which was the downfall of our relationship - along with the added female that I didn't think we needed. lol. Yup! They got comfortable with my working and doing everything because I had to - I had kids. Something I never forgot was when they said to me "If I wasn't here you'd still have to do it anyways!" Oh yeah....someone said that to me once. It was like a face slap that was heard across the continent! lol Woke me up right quick. They were right. Absolutely right! I was the idiot for allowing myself to be taken advantage of. We love and we learn...at least that is how it's supposed to go. I try my best to teach my kids to be more like me in many ways. Not in all ways though because I want them to learn from my mistakes. lol. But, like me, work hard for what you want. Do not rely on anybody. Make YOURSELF proud first and foremost. Be bigger than you think people expect of you. (Ok...here go the head shakers with that "I don't care what anybody thinks" attitude. lol) Oh yeah! I know that I surprised a few. I probably cared too much what other people thought but not anymore. Furman is here now! He is not allowing ANYONE to take advantage of me...not if he can do something about it. He's got my back and he will go to battle for my kids too!


So....until he is able to be a Canadian
... He will just have to keep doing what he is doing. It wont be much longer now, i'm sure. All that he is doing at home is appreciated. I hope he knows this and that not only myself, but my kids are showing him. I love him. He loves me. He loves us. I'm certainly not used to anyone doing anything for me so that's an adjustment in itself. Then, I can take a step back and let him be THE MAN! Not that he is not THE MAN now...but you know what I mean! He is certainly an excellent example and the best example I have ever had for my children. Unfortunately, it's a bit late in their lives but I hope they get the message and can pick up something from him. Time will tell.

When you WANT to work and can't, you make the best of it!
He is working in other ways....like I said, something I am not used to but am loving.

Thank You Furman!

Someone Is Looking

Immigration Update - Someone Is Looking



I say this because now when I check the Immigration Website for a status, Furman's home address in Miami has now been updated in the database and showing online. Before, it just showed his name and application status. This is a good sign.  Also, they have now updated the Sponsorship Application status part to read "Decision Made". This was not done in May when they informed me by email of the Sponsorship Approval. Someone is looking at our stuff so that gives me reason to smile.

Sponsorship Application(s)

 

Sponsored Person

Sponsorship Application Status

Permanent Residence Application Status

FURMAN WHITE

Decision Made

Application Received

Now, if they can just move it along a bit faster all will be good. lol Honestly though...I'm expecting something by the end of July. So really and truly, I don't think I can complain as of yet. I'm patient.

                                                

We've got a very busy next several weeks ahead of us with my daughter finishing school and then her baton season, and getting into summer. We've got a few out of town trips planned too. So yeah...time will fly! Hopefully in that time too, my son will be preparing to continue his studies. We'll see. Fingers crossed.

Called my father the other day. Got his voicemail - as usual. Sometimes I think he sits there and listens to me speak without picking up the phone. (There is nothing like calling or texting someone who ignores you!..Ugh) I try not to take it personal but remember what I've always told my kids over the years, "It's not always about you!" I've never known my father although I know who he is and where he is. Aren't I lucky? I used to wonder if it was better to not know him at all versus knowing what I do know and being rejected. Gheez. Soo many different life stories of things that people go through. I'm no different. Things could be worse. Count the blessings right?

Recently, late last year really, I found out that he has been getting treated for the Big C. I'm not sure what kind though. But, instead of him taking the opportunity to get to know me, he still Rejects. I don't blame him though. It's been many many years without him being a part of my life and I can only imagine how difficult that would be for him. Guilt, etc. I'll keep calling him from time to time to leave a message because that's just me and what I think to be right. One day he might give in and answer the phone. Till then, i'll keep getting acquainted with his answering machine and let him know that he is thought of. (I've been lucky a few times with an answer - guess I broke him down!! lol). I keep that door open for him to reach out. I pray for him too. Rejection - I know all about it. I won't say that I am used to it, after all, how can anyone get used to it. But, I am oh so familiar with it. It makes me stronger, or so I am told. Love makes me continue to try. I may not know him, but he is my father and I still have love for the man I don't know.

As a parent, I could NEVER reject my child. I don't care what they did. They are going to make mistakes and it's my job to continue to love them and steer them into the right direction if I can. Of course, as they get older, the steering part gets harder because they are determined to do what they are going to do regardless of what you say. It's almost like witnessing a sinking ship. Sink or swim? All we can do is sit back and watch their lives unfold, and be there for the good and bad times. Control what we are able to control, and that would be the things that affect our own lives. After all, children have lives of their own.

Anyways, I just thought I would share this part about calling my father because it, and something else similar, was on my mind.  Maybe one day i'll have a blog post completely different about how I got to meet him or something. lol By that time, Furman might be officially HOME and I may have moved on to a completely new Blog. Till then, life goes on - it has to. You can't sit by the phone waiting for people to call you back when they have no interest in talking to you. You can't keep checking your phone every hour hoping for a text message from someone that has no interest in texting you back. Sometimes, it's not about you...they just have some STUFF that they have to deal with. You just gotta pray and hope they deal with their stuff sooner than later. That's why, I try to show love by keeping a door open in case they want to come through.


Thank God for the strength God continues to give me and the heart God continues to hold.

So Special - Winning!

What a weekend!

I went to my Ladies Prayer Breakfast on Saturday and after hearing a testimony from one of the ladies about stuff that she had gone through and is still dealing with, I was reminded just how blessed I am. How lucky my children are. I received confirmation that I had made the right decision about something that had been bothering me the last few weeks. I received prayer for wisdom, strength and guidance to keep me moving forward. I felt better about something that had been tearing me apart.

Then, in the afternoon my husband and I went with our church to feed the homeless at a new location. My daughter wasn't able to come with us this time because she was lucky to get a shift at her job. Those have been hard for her to get for some time now.  The new location is in Regent Park, an area that has been ungoing some ethnic cleansing...oops, I mean Revitalization. The Christian Resource Center is the new building recently opened in the community where we were feeding the homeless. Let me say, the site is beautiful. So much more spacious than where we were previously at the Good Neighbors Club.



Our church was serving the dinner which was meatballs, rice, salad and buns that came from donations solicited from the church congregation. They really did pull through. At the end of the day, we had about 15 boxes of meatballs that hadn't been used that we were able to leave at the center. Funny thing is, the other church we worked with that was in charge of desserts actually ran out. lol If my memory serves me correctly, Kingdom Covenant Ministries is a bigger church than my own. I've been there before when the church was called Deeper Life. It was a proud moment knowing how our church congregation provided. Next time, we serve desserts. My husband...well, he was the kitchen clown. lol He was hilarious and had everybody laughing and having fun. Typical! Everybody always loves him and it's never a question why. Just check out a few of these photos. lol

After feeding the homeless I picked up my mom for a sleepover. I had told her the week before that if she didn't have any plans that she was welcome to come for the night and we could hang out on Sunday. She remembered, as she always does, and called me to get her. It was hilarious when she came to the house and saw the bedroom she would sleep in. My son previously had it decorated in a way I tried to get him to change. Eventually, Furman got to it and made it look like a different spot. So, my mom commenting on how it used to look was quite funny.

I felt special this weekend. Didn't know it at the time, but I certainly know it now.
Apparently my mom was expected to be at a bridal shower being held for my sister on Sunday. If you remember, my sister and I don't have a relationship AT ALL. Not A Grudge - A Choice A true testament to the relationship that I have with my mother is in finding out that my mother chose to hang out with me instead. I feel so special - and loved. She chose to be with me!! I know my family will probably claim different. I can hear them now with their stories, although another aunt clarified for someone my mother's intentions based on what my mother had said to her. I didn't even know. Didn't know if she had forgotten or what. After all, I wasn't invited which is to be expected. lol Then again, my mother doesn't forget ANYTHING! Wanting to make sure I wasn't keeping my mom from something, I made sure to ask my mom after church if she had plans for the day, anywhere she was supposed to be, etc. Made sure Furman was my witness. Just in case I had to take her back home to meet her ride to the shower. But nope..mom said she had nothing to do. So, we hung out for the day.  Can only hope that one day my kids will want to spend time with me like that. hahaha Always love being with mom.  We can never make up for time we missed over the years but we can certainly make the best of what we have now. My sister is apparently getting married in a few weeks. Now, I don't know if my mom even wants to go to her wedding but I'm sure that with my family around she wont have much of a choice, so my sister is lucky. lmao

In other great news.....Could you imagine WINNING $10,000 at BINGO? I can't. I'd be ecstatic winning $1000 or even $2000, but $10,000?  Well, someone dear to me did just that! I must say that there is nobody more deserving of this win. I am soo happy for her. I just really hope that with whatever she does, that she does something special for herself! Really! Doing stuff for other people is nice sometimes, especially if you know they appreciate it. But, too many times we do things for other people that don't show appreciation and we neglect ourselves. She, is one of those people. Congrats to her again if she comes across my blog. Make sure to save some of that for a rainy day!

GOD IS GOOD! HE REALLY IS!!

13 MORE DAYS TILL  .    GONNA FIND OUT 

Memories - Kids DO The Darndest Things

So....I've been thinking....what to write about today?

I try to write a blog post every couple of days to stay current and not abandoned like many blogs out there. I've come across a lot of neat blogs that have been abandoned by people that just aren't committed like they used to be. Hey, I know...life gets busy! Blogs that have been moved to other sites and blogs that are updated maybe once a month or so. I don't want to be like that. I've got tons to say....after all, I'm 41. But there is a time and place for everything, so I choose what I might write about wisely. Most importantly, I try to remember the main focus of my blog while I'm filling in space.

Anyways....An old memory made me laugh today that I thought I would share. Has to do with the funny things that kids do.  I'm sure plenty of us have our own stories. Have you ever lost your kid at the mall or in a store or something? Well, I have....or I thought I did. lol  I know it happens to the best of us.  I was sitting here thinking of my son and started cracking up at this memory.

Ok..Here we go:

I don't remember how old exactly my son was but I'm sure he was between the ages of 5 and 10.  I had stopped in a video rental store to peruse their selections with my son in tow. The store wasn't that big (wasn't a Blockbuster or anything), but it was big enough and wasn't located in the best of neighborhoods.  In fact, a reflection of the neighborhood the shop was in was the decorative dead body tape that was in front of the cashiers station near the door. It wasn't real i'm sure. I think it was just the owners gag or conversation piece.  Anyways, I didn't think I needed to hold onto my sons hand as I looked through the movies on the shelves, reading movie synopsis' for something that caught my interest. I allowed him to also look around for any kids movie that might interest him. He wouldn't go anywhere....or so I thought. The store didn't have many patrons in it at the time looking for movies themselves. I felt confident I didn't have anything to worry about.

So, after finding a few movies to go home with I turned around for my son who I thought was nearby. He wasn't. I walked amongst a few shelves and called out to him but he didn't answer. First thing I did...was PANIC. OMG! I remember that feeling clearly because it was the first time I felt it. Where is my son? What was probably only a few minutes seemed like forever. As I picked up my step to race in between the few aisles in the store checking for him, I went towards the cashier to ask if anyone had seen my son leave.  Low and behold.....there was my clown of a son!! Yup....I had overlooked him several times because he had been laying down on the floor playing dead with his body shaped in the dead body tape. On the floor! When I was looking for him I was looking ahead and not on the floor. lol I swear...the panic left as quick as the snap of a finger and all I could do was crack my ass up. OMG! This kid! Only my son (would do something so silly) I thought, as I know I shook my head in relief and laughter. What a great laugh we had as I took his arm to help him up off the floor. Now I knew why he was so quiet and not answering me when I was calling out to him in panic...that's what dead does. hahahaha

If only I had a camera, or camera phone. I don't think camera phones came into existence until the late 90's. Now...all these crazy moments are easily captured by technology most of us can't seem to do without. That would have been a great shot! hahahaha

In hindsight, I think that should have been the first clue that my son had an interest in Criminology. hahaha


Well, I just wanted to share that cute story. Funny memory for me.

                                                             Happy Thursday!

Road To Canada

Still no word from Immigration!

 

I've been checking the website almost daily for any update at all but sadly get nothing. From what I have read, it's not unusual. I'm told I may get an update one day and an official letter the next. So really, they aren't very good at letting you know where they are in the process of completing your application.  What I do know, is that while our application is updated on the CIC website as being In Process, that the next update we are hoping for would be the confirmation of receipt of Furman's medical documents.  

The medical is something that had to be done prior to sending in the application for permanent residency that is only good for a year. That, along with an FBI check. When the medical was completed, the Dr gave Furman a letter that was to be included with our application sent to Immigration.  Apparently this letter was to show proof that the medical was completed.  It is also to assist them with retrieving the medical information from the Ottawa office that the Dr would have sent the test results to. We don't know what the letter said because the letter wasn't opened and copied previous to mailing the documents to Immigration. Now, before you might think that that may have been a dumb idea not to copy it, note that the letter the Dr gave Furman was in a sealed envelope addressed to Immigration. lol So there! Why open something not addressed to you? From others, I have since learned that this letter had a bar code and everything on it so that his medical stuff could be found and forwarded to the Visa Office processing our application. So now, we are waiting for them to find them or at least let us know that they've found them. lol

I've been reading these awesome Forums online. Particularly the Road to Canada Forums. OMG! This website has a wealth of information shared by many going through the Immigration process themselves. If that's you...I definitely recommend you signing up. Through these forums you are able to learn so much, getting clarification on things, advice, and overall reassurance that things are happening. 

Everyone kind of provides their own timeline so that you have an idea of how long its taking them or had taken them to get from start to finish - Landed. You certainly get to read different stories of obstacles that people came across and how they overcame them. At the same time, it can cause you a bit of stress worrying about whether something that happened to someone else might also happen to you. Ie. the loss of medical documents by Immigration. There is one person, RobsLuv, identified as a administrator that is a wealth of information too. I swear this person must work for Immigration or be an Immigration lawyer or something. They seem like they are able to answer almost everything, providing links for people to read, links to forms, etc. I've learned so much so far and it has helped to follow others going through the same process. After all, my friend is pretty much landed now...so I've had nobody else to follow. lol  Not to mention that it feels good being able to help answer questions and/or encourage someone else on their journey.  Right up my alley!

I even learned today that the Buffalo Visa Office had a closure. Can you imagine? Buffalo Visa Office Closure Notice  I am soo happy that our application was sent to LA now. lol Ya see...everything does happen for a reason. One thing I will say I've noticed though, is that through reading other people's timelines, it certainly does seem like the Detroit Office is moving at a great pace. But, i'll anxiously await updates from LA, along with the others I've found on the forum whose applications are being processed in LA also. 6 months....6 months...that is what I am hoping for....to have this whole thing done by July so that when we go to Florida as a family we are officially Bringing Furman Home!

As for today though.....Still no word from Immigration!

In other news though...my daughter got her braces off today. You gotta know how excited she is about that. Now she can enjoy running her tongue along her teeth and enjoying the smoothness. Now, she can eat everything and anything she wants...although my husband probably figured she did that anyways..lol I think she had them on for about a year and a half. Personally, I didn't think she needed them in the first place. But, she wanted them. How could I tell her "no" after my son had them when he was young? Did he really need them? I don't even remember now. So, she asked for them and got them, at a time when braces on a teenager is common enough for her to not be singled out and made fun of. I don't blame her for wanting them. I wish having braces was an opportunity that I had. I certainly wasn't going to get them as an adult. Both of my children are absolutely stunning if I must say so myself. Braces or not. My daughter is gorgeous and my son is handsome. (See my big smile?..lol)  But with braces coming off today, I have a reason to celebrate too...it means I am pretty much finished paying for them. hahahaha  Those things are not cheap! Gheez....a used car in my opinion. So now...i'll be free too. Free of payments. Yay! Think i'll head out and buy myself a treat. That's an additional $250 that I can start to save. Woo Hoo!!  What to do? What to do?  lol

New Kind of Clean - Fresh Start

The Seal of Approval is what my daughters bedroom was given this weekend. Finally!! Yup. Getting her room tip top clean, clean to parental standards was a condition of her teenage parole. Lol. Meeting parental standards.....that's the key right there, because i'm sure you can figure that a kids clean would be different from an adults clean. I was soo excited this was finally getting done because I've been after both of my kids about cleaning their rooms - forever. It's amazing how something so simple seems so difficult to get done. With my husband being Mr Military Clean, he was the one to help her in learning what Clean really is and how to meet parental standards. Lol. (Yes...his clean is much cleaner than mine...I will admit.)
It was nice to see them working together while I was chillaxin.

That's supposed to me looking under the bed. lol

Oh, I helped out a bit with this official Spring Cleaning of her room. While she was at work I did my part to clean under her bed, scrubbing out a few stains on the carpet, then vacuuming and laundering her bed linen. Furman, he was with the tool box fixing things that needed fixing. I am very thankful to my husband for all his help. He promised to help her once she got started and stuck with her through it all. That's why it really got done. God Bless him. lol Oh, and because she knew she would lose her communication privileges if it didn't get done. lol Don't mess with a teenager and her blackberry. Oh no. But that's how you get stuff done!

Too bad you can't do that with a young adult. Nope...an adult is an adult and they're going to do what THEY want to do or not.  I hate having to repeat myself over and over and over again to get something done that I shouldn't even be asking for. Yup....I start feeling like a damn "Nag". Not even funny. Part of being a parent I guess. But, you learn quick about picking your battles, what you can tolerate and what you cannot and that's when Tough Love comes in. No more nagging.

Her bedroom is looking great. Like Furman had been saying to her.... Once the room is clean as clean should be then all she has to do is learn how to tidy by putting things back in their assigned places. No more excuses. I finally got what I been asking for. Why bug teenagers about cleaning their room you might ask? Well, as myself and Furman tried to explain to her (since she felt nobody should be bothered by her messy room because it's Her room)....your room and how you keep your room is a reflection of you and how you will be as an adult. A kid with a messy room is more likely to turn into an adult with a messy home. lol Can you imagine having to share a dorm room with a messy young adult in college? OMG! So, we finally got some action with Furman's tremendous help. My daughter did an awesome job! I love her and I am soo very proud of her. Watching her hanging up her clothes and putting some of her skills learned from retail to good use was awesome. Yes...i'm talking about the folding of clothes..hahaha Actually, she rolled the clothes in her drawers...lol  Rollin Rollin Rollin  Something Furman taught her, and me. :)

She made a good choice this weekend. I know that she will feel better overall now that her room is clean. I've seen her smile...she's not foolin me! And, we had some jokes laughing at the things that had been found during the cleanup. Oh gheez...did we ever!! We had a rough few weeks so the laughter was needed. Hoping I don't have to start a calendar to keep track of how long her room stays clean. She is such a teenager! Gotta love her though.

"It's better to help someone who tries and fails then to help someone who doesn't try at all."

                                              
The room was bad. lol I mean I can't even post a photo..I wont even lie. No before and after pictures here. But hey, I did do some searches in google for example pictures and found several which is a good sign that my teenager isn't alone in her messy room ways. It's all good now. We are getting her on the right track while we still can. The test will be in keeping it that way. Now, we got a bunch of stuff to donate, and a crapload of empty shoeboxes...oh, and way too many rolls of scotch tape. Anyone need one? hahaha


Hey..the room is clean. A new beginning in soo many ways...you just don't know.

                                                         

Now...if I could get the other bedroom cleaned up without having to do it myself. If I could get my young adult to listen to some of the things he really thinks I am only Nagging about we'd all be happy. It's so much harder to parent young adults because you can't discipline them anymore. It's hard in general as a parent to see your kids make bad choices and not listen to the words of advice we give them. But...they have to make their mistakes, and like I used to always hear growing up "What you don't hear you must feel!" No truer words. I love my kids more than you can imagine. Wait a minute...if you are a parent, you probably can imagine. I am very blessed with two wonderful children (even when they give me a hard time) and an awesome husband. I'm going to keep acting like a love struck teenager because I didn't really get to do that when I was one. lol

The weekend went pretty well after I had a very very rough week. I can only thank God and continue to pray for the things that still need prayer. I also have a few special thank you's to some baton friends (you know who you are). You don't know how much you've really helped us this weekend. You are both awesome! Thank you very much for being there for us.

To my Son - You know I love you.